Zero's Perspective: Shining Grace
by DitzyKlutz
Summary: My world was black...


Zero's Perspective: Shining Grace

My world was black.

Cold, black, and frozen. I was numb to the life surrounding me. I only had one goal that kept me existing; to avenge the death of my family, to take the life of "That Woman". I would always remember those possessive violet eyes and that long dreary gray hair that trailed disturbingly behind her. Her long hair made me sick, I hated long trailing hair.

The first time I saw you I thought you were just another bothersome obstacle that would slow me down in accomplishing my task. Your long hair disgusted me, your polite speech, your eternally cheerful face, everything about you annoyed me. Yet the first time you gave me warmth, I started noticing, my numbness leaving, almost like my dose of anesthetic had run out. I was scraping, trying to completely eradicate the side of my neck where "That Woman" had bitten me. Her venom on my skin was like a smoldering blaze, I wished my skin would reduce to ashes and rid me of this new born raw pain that lashed out at me like a whip. I cringed instinctively, yet I continued my scraping, hoping the numb shell would return soon. Then she caught my bloody palm in between her trembling warm hands. Her deep claret eyes immersed in fear and sobs, she begged me to stop with her quivering small voice. I ceased my attempt of erasing "That Woman", and watched her as she held my hand, her petite frame shaking with terror and…. pain? Why would she be in pain, she wasn't injured. Strange girl.

I suddenly felt my cold world vibrate… my frosty world was breaking up; I could feel it thawing, liquefying inside me. A small ray of light penetrated my now half-liquid world it turning it into an odd seal-gray color. The water was a degree warmer, yet I still couldn't breathe. I gasped, taking in half-frosted water. That was a mistake. When did I start believing… why should I believe in a better world? That world would surely betray me, and plunge me into even more obscurity, I should wait for my world to congeal and darken.

The exact opposite happened; I started perceiving parts of life I was oblivious to due to my numbness. My world was gradually defrosting allowing me to rise ever so slightly to the distant surface. Now a silvery gray, my world didn't feel so bitter and cold. I started noticing this gentle, warm, affectionate girl… nonetheless she was an eccentric odd girl. I found myself tolerating her at first, and then worrying about her. I found myself discomforted when I saw her hurt, cheerless. I would feel uneasiness when I saw her clumsily lose her footing over perfectly flat-non-slippery floor; I'd find my hand instinctively reaching out to balance her upright. Sometimes I'd find her actions so humorous; I would actually quietly smile to myself. I would feel a stabbing pain in my chest when I saw her deep scarlet eyes filled with tears that would shimmer like tiny precious rubies.

My now completely fluid world was a peculiar shade of pale gray. I wondered why my world was always colorless. It should be able to turn into shades of dark azure like normal water… right? I still wasn't able to inhale, though now I found myself reaching for the surface. Yet my malicious world wouldn't let me get away so easily. As if gravity worked in water, it kept drawing me to the bottom. I struggled and fought now because I could see the flicker of light so close, almost tangible, yet so distant. Every time I struggled to resurface, I would be plunged deeper into the sinful waters of my world. Even though I knew my efforts were futile, I would attempt to fight gravity. Ludicrous. Foolish. Immature.

I should have known this stupid gray world would betray me. I should have known not to trust it. I should have known that _faith_ does not exist. I should have known my life would always be drowning in a bottomless black pool of residue created from unforgivable sins and evil. _I should have known._

I think I must have always known, in the back of my mind… somewhere, that it would all end abruptly. It _would_ end.

The sun that illuminated my bleak world would set… for good. That streak of light that kept me fighting gravity would eventually vanish.

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Now as I look into your blazing burgundy eyes… were they always this bloody shade? I want to protect you, from your fears, from this evil world… from me. I wouldn't drag you further into my sinister world and taint your pure heart with my unforgivable desires and sins. I would never let you taste the soiled-in-sin waters I dwelled in. I want to never see your dark crimson eyes filled with tears. I never want to see your face distorted by fear or worry. Never again.

I would do anything to protect you. I'd leave you with the man I despised. I would distance myself from you, I would veil my undying love behind a mask of malice. I would hurt you so badly you'd forget me. As much as this sorrow yet stunning face of yours stings my heart, I'd rather suffer for you. I'd give up my life to save you.

Even if I would spasm eternally in fear and pain in my black frozen ocean. Even if I would suffocate on the dark, corrupt, icy, waters of my world. Even if I would be alone. I'd sacrifice everything to rescue you.

My world lost its solitary ray of light, it had lost its Sun that provided it with warmth. It had lost _everything_.

I could feel my treacherous world ice over so rapidly it felt almost fake. I'd accept the darkness and evil that resided in me. I'd embrace the shadows.


End file.
